My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

“With sorrow unspeakable those who loved Him placed His wounded, lifeless body in the new tomb of Joseph of Arimathea. Gone was hope from the lives of His Apostles, whom He had loved and taught. He to whom they had looked as Lord and Master had been crucified and His body laid in a sealed tomb. He had taught them of His eventual death and Resurrection, but they had not understood. Now they were forlorn and dejected. They must have wept and wondered as the great stone was rolled to seal the burial place.” -This Glorious Easter Morn, By Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1996

Just as the Apostles lost hope because their Master was gone, I think we too have lost hope. It is my belief that as Jesus and God explained to us our journey here on earth; the trials, the afflictions, the distance, and the hardships. I think that we too “had not understood” how hard it would be down here on earth. I think they we too have “wept and wondered” where our great Master is.

We have cried as Jesus cried asking...My God, my God, why hast thou Forsaken me?- Matthew 27:46

Elder Holland stated,“Our Father...did not forsake His Son in that hour. Indeed, it is my personal belief that in all of Christ’s mortal ministry the Father may never have been closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of suffering.” - None Were With Him,April 2009 conf.

I truly believe in moments where we feel completely lost and hopeless that God is closer than He has ever been. That His love for us, as well as His son's love is perfect and always available  for us. No matter what we have done. 

Elder Wilford W. Andersen said, “Hope comes from faith in Jesus Christ. He has already overcome the world and has promised us that He will wipe away our tears if we would only turn to Him and believe and follow”.

May we remember “One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so”. 

-None Were With Him, by Elder Holland, April 2009 conf.

Easter season is a message of Hope. Hope that God is close. Always so close. May we ever be thankful that He sent His son to die for us. May we cling to Him to remember why we came here, and that we too can fulfill our purpose here on earth. 

Let us remember that Jesus's Death was not the end of Him. He surely does live. “He is not here: for He is risen." (Matt 28:6)

Much Love & Hope

Rachel M.

My Chains Are Gone

This week has been a crazy one. I have a lot of things that I want to say, but am exhausted. I will share later this week. But  I want to share with you a song that has been lifting by spirits and has gotten me through this week.

I can testify that "My chains are gone, I've been set free" and I promise you that no matter where you are in your life God can still change it and "make you free".

Praying for all of you, I mean it.

Much love,

Rachel

Prayer Keeps Men From Sin & Sin Keep Men From Prayer

I tend to have a million thoughts running through my mind, as we all most certainly do.
I have been trying to really focus on my prayers and really feel like God is there.
Too often I feel as if I am talking to myself.

The Lord told me to try a few different things. By doing these things I am now conversing with the Lord all through they day.

1. Praying Aloud

About a year or so into recovery I started saying prayers out loud now and again. It is something I have tried to get into more of a habit of. When I pray out loud it make me feel closer to God and becomes more a conversation. Of course God hears prayers that are send silently, but praying aloud has helped me feel focus and close to our dear God.

Also, those of you who are married. My husband and I try to pray aloud together. One of us will go first, we switch off. One prays aloud and then the next goes. It has been a beautiful blessing in our marriage. It also helps us be more vulnerable with each other, and of course allow us to become one with the Lord.

2. Prayer Journal

I started to write down my prayers every morning in my regular journal, basically writing letters to God. Too often I am falling asleep during a prayer, thinking about something else or distracted in someway. As I started this journal I noticed that I was paying attention! It was beautiful. But something even more spectacular has happen. I now can see a conversation between me and God. He is answering my letters, all of them. I get see to everything written down that He prompts me. I realized I had missed so much before. Writing is such an important tool. Such a treasure.

3.  Praying in your Heart Continually

In the 12 Step LDS Addiction Recovery Guide it talks about taking a thought that you read in our scriptures and meditation on it throughout the day (Step 11, Action Steps). I have also taken a quote, a conference talk, a question I have personally or a pray for someone else in need to meditate on throughout the day. Everyday is different, but everyday I am filled with the spirit.

If you are practicing your addiction, have slipped, or feel unworthy of God's love in any way. I can testify that the Lord is not just there for you, He is reaching for you. He needs you. His arms are so peaceful. Even if you are mad at Him, talk to him. Yell at him if you have too, cry if the words don't come. He wants to hear from you no matter how it comes.

I am so grateful for prayer. It brought me out of my addiction and not only keeps me out, but bring me the greatest happiness and peace.

Much much love,

Rachel

Power to Bruise His Head

I am not good with words, but through them I know I can touch someone...anyone. The lord is guiding me and I give all trust to Him. I will not let Satan hold me back.

I know God loves you and me. I cannot deny it.
Throw those voices out that are telling you that you aren't good enough at ______.

Nothing frustrating, judgmental, negative or critical of yourself (or others) comes from a loving Father.

Tell Satan NO! Tell him to leave! You have the power, ALL power over Him.

Genesis 3:15: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

Bruising a heal does hurt. It is real. It is hard.  It does affect your life. But you can bruise Satan's head. His head!

Listen for God's voice today.

Much love,

Rachel

Don't Overcome and You Will Not Become

I have been gone way to long! It has been a roller coaster last few weeks so I haven't blog. Plus my husband and I only have one computer so he is usually taking it to school.

The big news is: my blog will be going public. I will be letting all my family  and friends know about it. I have let fear consume me and have not yet done so. I have plans for April. I want my blog to touch someone. Even if it I touch one person. Fear has been holding me back, but my story matters- all of ours do! Yes, your story matters too! I promise, you can inspire someone! Many of you have inspired me. 

At first when I thought about making my blog public I didn't want to because I was afraid I would change the way I wrote, or my posts wouldn't be as real because I would be worried about who would see it. 

Today God has told me to be me. Serve MY purpose. I cannot tell you that I don't have fears, I DO! 

I am giving myself permission to dream big. 

This is a struggle. It's not as easy as posting my pictures on my blog and sending our a max email to let everyone know about my blog. Actually, as I have been pondering about my blog and where to go with it Satan has hit me, hard! He has filled me with doubt, fear and many inequities. 

We all have fear. Sometimes fear can be a good thing, sometimes it can be a bad thing. Fear in this case is stopping me. It is holding me back. I am kicking fear in the face. I am kicking my "demon in the face".  I am telling Satan NO! I am leaning more on God. I know God will provide a way. 

I also fear what others with "think" or say. But guess what, I am keeping my horse blinders on. 

I am avoiding anything that keeps me away from my goal. I am facing my goals. I  am putting on and keeping my blinders on. 

If I don't overcome my fear I will not become. There is risk, there always is. But I am taking this journey and am so grateful for it. 

Thank you all for being apart and strengthening my journey. 

Much love, 

Rachel

As I Approached He Smiled....

“I know, as I know that I live, that this is God’s work and that you are His servants. … I remember one testimony, among the many testimonies which I have received. … Two years ago, about this time, I had been on the Fort Peck Reservation for several days with the brethren, solving the problems connected with our work among the Lamanites. Many questions arose that we had to settle. There was no precedent for us to follow, and we just had to go to the Lord and tell Him our troubles, and get inspiration and help from Him. On this occasion I had sought the Lord, under such circumstances, and that night I received a wonderful manifestation and impression which has never left me. I was carried to this place—into this room. I saw myself here with you. I was told there was another privilege that was to be mine; and I was led into a room where I was informed I was to meet someone. As I entered the room I saw, seated on a raised platform, the most glorious being I have ever conceived of, and was taken forward to be introduced to Him. As I approached He smiled, called my name, and stretched out His hands towards me. If I live to be a million years old I shall never forget that smile. He put His arms around me and kissed me, as He took me into His bosom, and He blessed me until my whole being was thrilled. As He finished I fell at His feet, and there saw the marks of the nails; and as I kissed them, with deep joy swelling through my whole being, I felt that I was in heaven indeed. The feeling that came to my heart then was: Oh! If I could live worthy, though it would require four-score years, so that in the end when I have finished I could go into His presence and receive the feeling that I then had in His presence, I would give everything that I am or ever hope to be!” (Melvin J. Ballard—Crusader for Righteousness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 65–66.)

I am so grateful that no matter all the hard things I have been through that I know without a doubt that I will see Him. I will know His face and His voice. I will do anything to get back to Him no matter how hard things can be, I know without a single doubt that it is worth every hardship to get back to the Lord. I rejoiced to come down here and yes, it gets hard and ugly, but the end goal- WOW! The end goal is seriously unbelieving amazing!

Thank you Lord! I am so excited to be in your presence again, help me to get there. I miss you!

Much Love,

Rachel

Kiss Your Scripture's

The video above really touched me. I take my scriptures for granted. So many people went though so much, and now I have them on my phone and a few sets of scriptures at home. They are so easily accessible. I have no excuses to not be reading them and rejoicing over them. “Kissing them” like they were doing in the video. 

Elder Scott said,”Scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability to overcome the challenges of life”. (Oct. 2011 Conference)

 Read them! I mean really read them. Read them with a purpose.

1. Pray

2. Take Notes

3. Go S L O W

4. Ask questions

5. Reflect -“Take a thought from what you have read in your morning studies and meditate upon it frequently during your daily activities. This practice will help you keep your mind in tune with truth”. (Step 11, action step) 

You will grow in your ability to resist temptation as you study the scriptures and pray. Addiction Recovery Guide pg.65, Step 11.

So thankful that I have the scriptures. Even though I don't always understand what is going on in them the Lord helps me. He knows how to teach me an a way that I understand. Scriptures have strengthen me. Because of that I am able to resist temptation.  I can testify that if you read the scriptures for the next week your life will change. It was hard for me at first to make reading an everyday habit. But now I rejoice over them. The Lord is so good to provide such a wonderful book for all of us.

Go and read :D

Much Love,

Rachel