Feelings Mean Something

I wrote a story of who I was a long time ago. My truths in that story are not reality, but a heavy weight that I have lived with for a long time. They still hold truth deep down in my heart. They are painful. And I want to re-write my story.

You see I invalidated my thoughts. Example: I will start feeling fearful. I would

tell myself that it was “dumb” or “stupid” to feel that way. When I invalidate myself, or when any of us do, we are putting ourselves on a slippery slope to darker place sin our mind.

I know I am not the only one who beats themselves up. As I talked to my therapist she told me to be more Mindful.

“Mindfulness:

is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

To be honest it seems like an impossible task, not judging what I am thinking?  But as I have read more and talked more about it I came across something that means a lot:

“Imagine a house, and a fire alarm going off in the house. The sound is loud. The problem isn't the sound. The sound is a warning that something else is happening that needs to be addressed, quickly. Moods are the same; they are the warning alarms that we need to take notice of the situation, so that we don't get "emotionally" burned. So, judging your feelings can silence the warning sound, which puts you in danger.”

(Source: unknown)

To me this makes total sense! My feelings do mean something. They are trying to tell me something. This does not mean they need to control my life.

Feelings have movement. They come and go. We may have the same exact feeling come back depending on the situation. Yes, feelings are not a one-time things. Yet, each time a negative feeling comes back we have another opportunity to understand it and react to it differently. We get a chance to empathize with ourselves and explore where our feelings and thoughts are coming from and in turn this gives us a new deeper perspective, which results in us understanding them in a way that you know healthily soothes.

Our feelings aren’t always logical or sensible but when you take time to recognize them over time that logic can reveal itself or it can be a very deep gut reaction that keeps you out of harms way, or keep your from getting “emotional burnt”.

I came across this on Pinterest:

There are 7 letters. Each day this next week I am going to focus on one. So tomorrow, I am going to live moment to moment. I am going to really let the Lord guide me.

I want to let myself love me for me, and let my husband in on the painful story I wrote a long time ago. I can change, we all can.

It took me 15 years to write my last story; it isn’t going to change overnight. Day by day I can re-write it, always need to remember that.

Much Love,

Rachel 

Patterns of Emotion: Focus

Finishing up the Triads from Tony Robbins.

The last one is: Focus. 

Focus = Feeling

Whatever you focus on you’re going to believe. "Focus equals reality to the individual, even though it’s not reality in actuality." When I first heard that I thought it was confusing, but really Tony Robbins is right. For some many years I told myself that I was not worthy of love, so I acted that way. It was my truth, even though reality was…I was a daughter of God who was very loved. 

Ever heard the story of the four-minute mile? For years people believed that it is impossible for a human being to run a mile in less than four minutes until Roger Banister proved it wrong in 1954. Within one year, 37 runners broke the belief barrier. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing. Amazing what a change of perception does! What do we need to change our perspective on? 

Placebo effect: People who are told a drug will have a certain effect will many times experience that effect even when given a pill without those properties.

No one is born with beliefs. Beliefs are acquired from a young age and through our life experience. The things you were told and how you were treated when young, become the way you think about yourself and the world, and become your beliefs, whether empowering or defeating.

The great thing is this doesn’t mean that our beliefs are actually true. Just because someone told us we can’t be somebody or do something doesn’t mean we have to believe them.

Challenges your beliefs. Your truths may not be reality. 

I am so grateful for this inspiration. I know that I have many beliefs that I need to challenge. I am so grateful that the Lord is helping me to see myself as He sees me. I am so thankful for the perspective that Tony Robbins was able to give me. Really hope that I can become more mindful and positive, taking complete control of my thoughts. 

Any tips or things you have all done to help you to be more mindful, positive, in tune with yourself? Would love to hear it. 

Much love,

Rachel

Patterns of Emotion: Physiology

On my last post I talked about Tony Robbins, a life coach. He talked about "Triad: the three patterns that create emotion." Last post I focused on Language, now Physiology, so what your body does. 

Tony Robbins uses an example. He says something along the lines of: If behind curtain number one there is someone who is depressed. What is their body doing? How would you know they are depressed? Of course we can all answer that. They would be slumped over, shallow breathing, to themselves, etc etc. 

He then explains a study in which the patients with clinical depression smiled at themselves in a mirror 20 minutes a day. After 4 weeks every one of the participants were not clinically depressed anymore. I don’t remember if he stated the university that did the study and I have been unable to find it. Sorry! But even though I haven’t found it I know it would work and have read many amazing studies and insights about the power of smiling. 

This Ted talk explains a lot of amazing studies:

Ron Gutman: Hidden Power Smiling

I know it may all seem hooky, but what would it hurt. :D 

“I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish.” - Mother Teresa 

Much love! 

Rachel 

Challenge Your Believe's

I have been listening to Tony Robbins a lot lately. He is truly amazing. As I was watching one of his inspiring lectures yesterday I was struck by what he was teaching and wanted to share it. He calls it the “Triad: The three pattens that create emotion.” There are only 3 categories, but so much amazing information in each category that I decided I would spilt it up between the next few days. 

Your Language:

Tony explains that the language patterns we have change how we feel. For example: if we say things in our head like, "Why does this always happen to me" or "I am stupid/dumb for thinking I could do ____",  you literally wear yourself out emotionally.  You start to believe them.  If you want to change your life, pay attention to the words you repeat to yourself. 

In Christa Black's book "God Loves Ugly" she challenges you to write down your primary emotions. To be completely honest, dig deep down. Write it all down where you can see it! She explains that there are no rules, you can write paragraphs, write a key word, even draw a picture if it helps you really release these emotions or “language”. You need to recognize what you believe about yourself before you can even begin to change it. Christa goes in to more detail explaining to "pay attention to your thinking. What strolls though that brain of yours everyday? What do you allow yourself to dwell on, feed on? What consumes your mind?" 

She once again points out the importance of writing these questions down and answering them throughout the day. Acknowledge the hard, horrible, painful, wrong, happy, exciting things your believe about yourself. Your mind doesn't think of things randomly, it has learned what to think or believe by your language pattern. Once your start to challenge these thinking pattern it will finally begin to change. 

Ways you can challenge what you think is using the list of your primary emotions and beliefs, once you have listed these down in front of you, you can take one at a time and challenge them. 

Christ black recommends challenging it like this: "I challenge the core belief that I am ________ and do not accept it in my mind and heart anymore. I am _________, regardless of what I see or feel. "  

You are better than you think. Stop telling yourself otherwise. Put it to the test. And remember one challenge one day at a time. By changing the language you speak to yourself you can change your destiny.

Is He Your Best Friend?

Happy New Year!

So with the New Year here it is a tradition to make New Years goals. However, this year I was able to recognize something. I set myself up to fail; I think we all do it sometimes.

I realized this while reading Jon Acuff’s book Start. He describes the reason we all have a hard time setting and keeping goals.  He explains our mindset when we have something that we want to accomplish.  We either think, “I need to do it perfectly.” or “I can’t do it at all.”  For some reason we tend to go to either of these two extremes when we want to set a goal or do something new.  He explains how there really does need to be a middle ground.  Honestly we can’t ever expect ourselves to do anything perfectly but for some reason when we set goals and can’t accomplish them perfectly 100% of the time we get discouraged and give up.  While on the other hand we can also be afraid of failing and convince ourselves that we are better off not trying at all.

On k-love (a Christian radio station) one of the host talked about the stress of New Years goals. She went on to suggest instead of picking so many goals that we rather pick a theme for the whole year. She picked happiness.

I loved her idea. At first I wanted to pick happiness too, we all could use more of it! Then I felt the spirit prompt me. I had these words come to mind “Choose the Savior as your theme”. As I thought about it I decided a theme for year could be:

“Coming To Understand That

Christ Is My Best Friend”

I hope that we can all remember the Savior in our life and His importance. He is our best friend and I am so excited to get to know Him even more this year.

Much love,

Rachel