Feelings Mean Something

I wrote a story of who I was a long time ago. My truths in that story are not reality, but a heavy weight that I have lived with for a long time. They still hold truth deep down in my heart. They are painful. And I want to re-write my story.

You see I invalidated my thoughts. Example: I will start feeling fearful. I would

tell myself that it was “dumb” or “stupid” to feel that way. When I invalidate myself, or when any of us do, we are putting ourselves on a slippery slope to darker place sin our mind.

I know I am not the only one who beats themselves up. As I talked to my therapist she told me to be more Mindful.

“Mindfulness:

is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

To be honest it seems like an impossible task, not judging what I am thinking?  But as I have read more and talked more about it I came across something that means a lot:

“Imagine a house, and a fire alarm going off in the house. The sound is loud. The problem isn't the sound. The sound is a warning that something else is happening that needs to be addressed, quickly. Moods are the same; they are the warning alarms that we need to take notice of the situation, so that we don't get "emotionally" burned. So, judging your feelings can silence the warning sound, which puts you in danger.”

(Source: unknown)

To me this makes total sense! My feelings do mean something. They are trying to tell me something. This does not mean they need to control my life.

Feelings have movement. They come and go. We may have the same exact feeling come back depending on the situation. Yes, feelings are not a one-time things. Yet, each time a negative feeling comes back we have another opportunity to understand it and react to it differently. We get a chance to empathize with ourselves and explore where our feelings and thoughts are coming from and in turn this gives us a new deeper perspective, which results in us understanding them in a way that you know healthily soothes.

Our feelings aren’t always logical or sensible but when you take time to recognize them over time that logic can reveal itself or it can be a very deep gut reaction that keeps you out of harms way, or keep your from getting “emotional burnt”.

I came across this on Pinterest:

There are 7 letters. Each day this next week I am going to focus on one. So tomorrow, I am going to live moment to moment. I am going to really let the Lord guide me.

I want to let myself love me for me, and let my husband in on the painful story I wrote a long time ago. I can change, we all can.

It took me 15 years to write my last story; it isn’t going to change overnight. Day by day I can re-write it, always need to remember that.

Much Love,

Rachel