You Are Capable!

Jack Canfield, a life coach & author, tells a story about an experiment that NASA did years ago. NASA was testing "physiological and psychological impact of spatial disorientation on potential astronauts." What that meant was the astronauts candidates would put convex goggles on that would make everything appear upside down. They had to wear these goggles all day everyday, never allowed to take them off. 

At frist the astronauts were under a lot of stress, anxiety and nausea, as well as other physical side effects. However, something incredible happen!! ALL of the candidates adjusted after wearing them for about 30 days consistently. Their brains had created new neural pathways so they say everything normally, even though they were still wearing the same goggles. 

So NASA tried this experiment again. However, this time they had the candidates take off their goggles half way through the experiment, and then put them back on a few days later. By day 30-40 none of them on created "the new neural pathways". They still saw everything upset down and were experiencing side effects. 

The conclusion was "the candidates needed 30 days of uninterrupted days for the new neural connections to form within the brain". 

Jack Canfield goes on to explain how we re-wire our brains. That it is not as easy as putting on a pair of goggles. But it does take time. We will have emotion stress, confusion, anxiety and perhaps even physical side effects as the astronauts did. But we must do something consecutive  to re-wire our brains. 

Umm....HELLO! Beautiful!! God has made our minds to be able to be "re-wired". Yeah it may take heaps of time! But it is possible! What an amazing blessing the Lord has given us! Even better, He will help us through the WHOLE THING! 

I testify that He will help you change. He will mold you, guide you, comfort you, and do "everything needful thing" for you. I promise that if you feel trapped in your addictions (or any part of your life) Satan is telling you that NOT a loving Heavenly Father. The Lord is there for you. He will help you eliminate negative thoughts. He will change your addictive behaviors. He will change any character weakness. He will, He has promised me, as well as you! He will create those new "neural pathways". He believes in us!! Let him guide you! 

So grateful for the Lord! He is my all. I am relying on him completely to change my me. To changes my negative patterns. I know it will take time, they will be "side effects", and I need patience. But I have complete trust in him. 

Much love 

Hope In Times Of Despair

Lord,

I can’t continue on. I don’t want to be negative. I know you know what you are doing. Right? I have doubt. I am sorry, I don’t want there to be doubt. I want to trust in your will. I want to be strong. I want to positive. I want to show love and be love.

I feel completely unsure. 

I know you have not abdomen me. But I find my asking, just as Joseph Smith “Oh Lord, where art thou?”

(This talk is from CES fireside 09/07/2008)

Lord, Thank you for guiding me to this talk 2 weeks ago. . I realize how much I need it now. Please continue to open my eyes to thy will and to know that thou hasn’t left me. 

In the name of Jesus Christ amen

Forsake Your Kingdom

Today when I got home from work my hubby told me to check out his Facebook. On there I found the video above. 

Wow, wow, wow!! That must have taken tons of courage to do this. She is incredible! Kylie truly showed what it means to: "...walk by faith, not by sight." (2 Cor. 5:7), giving up virtually her entire life to do what she felt the Lord wanted her to do.

Her story reminded me of another scripture that my husband and I read last night:

And it came to pass that after Aaron had expounded these things unto him, the king said: What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, 

I will give up all posses, yea, 

I will forsake my kingdom that I may receive this great joy. 

(Alma 22:15)

I believe that Kylie Bisutti "forsook her kingdom." I am so grateful for her inspiration. I am so grateful the Lord can play a role in ALL of our lives...and that we can be angels for each other. 

Thank you Kylie Bisutti!!

It is my hope and my pray that we can "forsake our kingdom(s)", forever trust in the Lord, and remember who we really are.

Much love 

<3

The Miracle Is You

I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew why.

About two weeks ago I started having some abdominal pain. It has progressively gotten worse. If I eat the pain increases. I am uncomfortable. I am bloated. .....blah, blah, blah! Gallbladder abnormality has my name written ALL over it.

(I am not just complaining, promise! this post has a point.)

Because of the slight limitations I have had the last few weeks I have become very frustrated. The pain comes and goes, so I always get my hopes up that it is gone. But wham, its back! 

I didn’t realize how much I was complaining and how anger I was until my husband asked if I wanted a blessing. (I SHOULD HAVE ASKED WEEKS EARLY!!!!) Of course, I knew it was exactly what I needed. 

My husband gave me a blessing. And the Lord had so much to tell me. I know He was there holding my hand telling me that He understood. I know it is a small thing (especially compared to other people’s illness), but the Lord knows to me it is a trial. He truly knows how I feel. 

Another part that stood out in the blessing was that the Lord said something a long the lines of...you worked hard to get this body. You were so excited to get it. Treasure it! Lean on me. I will guide you to doctors and people that can help you. 

I know I get so caught up in what I have that when it’s gone I get so angry. I know (or think) we all do.... Like when I get a cold/ sinus infection. I can’t taste anything. My head is pounding. My body achy. I wish it would go away so bad. I want to breathe, taste and have energy. But right when that is gone, I don’t even notice. It is just a part of everyday life. 

I am grateful for this physical affliction right now. It gives me time to trust in the Lord more. I have the opportunity to be reminded every day that I have been given such a beautiful gift, my body.  

I came across this video today (and even though watching it was sorta weird the words and the message are awesome!)

I hope we can call realize the miracles that are around us everyday. 

Much love! 

An Amazing Reminder

Grateful for this wonderful reminder. I am grateful for all the Lord has given me. I pray that I can come to understand by own beauty..... both out and within.

Oh, How He Loves Us!

I relapsed last week. After over a year....

I was in shock. I kept telling myself that it didn't really happen. I remember feeling like it was a user dream. I wanted to wake up so bad, roll over to my husband and know that everything was okay. Know that I had kept my covenants and had the spirit in my life.  But it was/is reality. 

It took me days to really feel. I was numb and so confused. Five days later (after we had returned from a family vacation) I couldn't be in denial anymore. I had to tell my husband, the lord and myself. Yes, myself. I had to be honest. I prayed all day. Not really knowing exactly what to say. 

I keep picturing the sadness that would overcome my husband. I thought of the day of our sealing, and was overwhelmed with shame. Complete shame and deep sadness. But I knew what would happen if I wasn't honest with myself, the Lord and my husband....more relapses! More shame! More guilt! 

After a day of praying. I told my husband. Well, it wasn't that easy to tell him. I started sobbing. And he held me, and held me. Ten plus minutes later I mutter....I slipped. I slipped......I am so sorry.

He took both of his hands, grabbed my face (that was buried in his shoulder) and said, "I forgive you." It was as if I was looking into the eyes of the Savior. He wiped my tears, he held me, he listen, his eyes were full of compassion.  Just like the Savior would have if He was here on earth.

I am not trying to say that my relapse didn't affect him, Of course it did! My husband has feelings. But I am so grateful he is a worthy priesthood holder that could be overcome with the spirit and be there in the very moment that I needed him most, and felt I deserved him the least. 

This past week my husband and I have been able to talk about a lot more. I have been able to get rid of some shame, not only with my husbands help, but the Lord's. 

Two days ago I was feeling so much better, but still felt so distant from the Lord. I knew it was satan!! I prayed in the morning for strength to forgive myself and to be reminded of God's love for me.

On my way home from work I heard a song on the radio, that I have heard millions of times. But this time it was like the first time I had really understood the words.

The whole song is beautiful! 

The words that stood out to me were....

When all of a sudden I am unaware of these Afflictions eclipsed by glory And I realize how beautiful you are and how great your afflictions for me....Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes. If grace is an ocean we're all sinking. So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss. And my heart burns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets. When I think about the way He loves us.

I know that is pretty much the whole song. Haha! But really how beautiful! Afflictions eclipsed by the glory of our God who loves us....Who wants to help us! 

I know that by relapsing He doesn't love me ANY LESS! I know Satan is trying to make me feel that way. I am so grateful for the beautiful message in this song. So grateful that it can remind me that I am loved by a merciful God. That I am cared about and always will be.

I hope I can never forget this.... He loves us, He loves me, and He does love you. If you don't know that then you should ask Him, let Him in, He wants to help.

And thank you all for being there for me. I am so inspired by all of your blogs and supportive comments. 

Much love and blessing

Easter, Real Meaning

This easter has been a totally new experience for me. Growing up it was all about the candy, the new dress, and an amazing breakfast. But these past few days I have been unable to keep my mind off of my Savior. I wanted to relive the last week with Jesus (in a sense). 

As I began to study the scriptures and read talks the atonement became so much more personal. Everyday for the last week all day, every day I read what Christ would have been doing that day. Then all day it was in my mind. What did Christ did to prepare for such event? Did Christ know how painful it was going to be? Did my Savior have sleepless nights? Did He question if He was strong enough? 

When I was getting ready on Thursday I came across a talk my Elder Holland called “None Were With Him” (GO READ IT NOW). As I was doing my hair I listened to the audio version. I was unable to do my makeup because I was crying, partially sobbing. I know I had heard this talk before, but it was so beautiful. I still can’t get enough of it. I wanted to share somethings that stood out to me:

Elder Holland speaks of Christ being completely alone. Where God, our Savior, cried out in the ninth hour saying “Eli, eli, lama sabachthani? That is to say My God, my God, why hast though forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Elder Holland explains that Christ expected His disciples and all other mortal beings to abandoned Him, but that the Savior could not have comprehend His Father leaving Him. But even though He was completely alone He continued on.

“The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.” Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, the living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness, and despair. With faith in the God He knew was there, He could say in triumph, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” 

I cannot imagine what Christ did for me. I tremble knowing that for me He was rejection, abandoned, betrayed, abused, and forsaken. The Lord loved me personally. How can I ponder about His crucifixion and not be moved? He loves me more than I could every understand. As I have pondered His death I got a tiny tiny glimpse of His love, and it was beyond imaginal. 

I am so grateful for a living Savior! I am grateful that this Easter He helped and inspired me to learn about His crucifixion. I am overflowing with amazement about who this man is and continues to be. 

I know that He saw my face, he felt my pain, sadness, anger, despair, fatigue, joy, happiness, e v e r y   s i n g l e   t h i n g! Oh it is wonderful that he cared (for me) enough to die for me. To know that Jesus has died and was risen I don’t have to “walk such a long, lonely path utterly alone”. 

It is my plea, as well as Elder Holland, that I never reenact the betrayal and extraordinary pain that was caused to our Redeemer. 

Elder Holland explains, “He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day. As we approach this holy week....may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ...for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. 

I can testify that what Elder Holland speaks of is true. We have a lovely Savior who died individually for us. Let us always remember that He has felt exactly how we have felt, that he cares, and that we do not have to experience what He has already suffered. 

I love the Lord. If you are questioning the atonement, or His sacrifice in anyway it is my humble pray that you study the scriptures and ask. God will enlighten your minds. For the atonement is the very root of christian doctrine. It is our way back to Him, the only way.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.