This easter has been a totally new experience for me. Growing up it was all about the candy, the new dress, and an amazing breakfast. But these past few days I have been unable to keep my mind off of my Savior. I wanted to relive the last week with Jesus (in a sense).
As I began to study the scriptures and read talks the atonement became so much more personal. Everyday for the last week all day, every day I read what Christ would have been doing that day. Then all day it was in my mind. What did Christ did to prepare for such event? Did Christ know how painful it was going to be? Did my Savior have sleepless nights? Did He question if He was strong enough?
When I was getting ready on Thursday I came across a talk my Elder Holland called “None Were With Him” (GO READ IT NOW). As I was doing my hair I listened to the audio version. I was unable to do my makeup because I was crying, partially sobbing. I know I had heard this talk before, but it was so beautiful. I still can’t get enough of it. I wanted to share somethings that stood out to me:
Elder Holland speaks of Christ being completely alone. Where God, our Savior, cried out in the ninth hour saying “Eli, eli, lama sabachthani? That is to say My God, my God, why hast though forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Elder Holland explains that Christ expected His disciples and all other mortal beings to abandoned Him, but that the Savior could not have comprehend His Father leaving Him. But even though He was completely alone He continued on.
“The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.” Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, the living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness, and despair. With faith in the God He knew was there, He could say in triumph, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”
I cannot imagine what Christ did for me. I tremble knowing that for me He was rejection, abandoned, betrayed, abused, and forsaken. The Lord loved me personally. How can I ponder about His crucifixion and not be moved? He loves me more than I could every understand. As I have pondered His death I got a tiny tiny glimpse of His love, and it was beyond imaginal.
I am so grateful for a living Savior! I am grateful that this Easter He helped and inspired me to learn about His crucifixion. I am overflowing with amazement about who this man is and continues to be.
I know that He saw my face, he felt my pain, sadness, anger, despair, fatigue, joy, happiness, e v e r y s i n g l e t h i n g! Oh it is wonderful that he cared (for me) enough to die for me. To know that Jesus has died and was risen I don’t have to “walk such a long, lonely path utterly alone”.
It is my plea, as well as Elder Holland, that I never reenact the betrayal and extraordinary pain that was caused to our Redeemer.
Elder Holland explains, “He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day. As we approach this holy week....may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ...for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone.
I can testify that what Elder Holland speaks of is true. We have a lovely Savior who died individually for us. Let us always remember that He has felt exactly how we have felt, that he cares, and that we do not have to experience what He has already suffered.
I love the Lord. If you are questioning the atonement, or His sacrifice in anyway it is my humble pray that you study the scriptures and ask. God will enlighten your minds. For the atonement is the very root of christian doctrine. It is our way back to Him, the only way.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
