Empathy = Antidote for Shame

 What is shame?

Shame is an epidemic. It is consuming us.

Shame is a focus on self; Guilt is a focus on before.

Shame- I am bad.

Guilt- I did something bad.

Shame is correlated with addiction, drugs, violence, eating disorder, depression, suicide, and bullying. Guilt is oddly correlated with the same things.

"Shame says 2 things. 

1. You’re never good enough! And if you can talk yourself out of that one in then asks 2. Who do you think you are?" 

-Berne Brown 

Shame grows in secrecy, silence and judgment.

So how do we overcome shame?

1.   Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone else. Literally write it out, say it out loud to yourself. Practice positive affirmations. You would never tell someone that "they were stupid". Yet... don't we say that to ourselves almost every day! 

2.   Figure out what triggers shame. We are all triggered with different things. 

3.   Reach out, to anyone who uplifts you!

4.   Tell your story. 

Numbers 3 & 4 have been so critical in my life. The reason that is, is because empathy is an antidote for shame.  The most powerful words during a struggle/ shameful experience are “me too”.

I remember figuring out for the first time that I was not alone. That other's struggle with the same things I did. Others had self destructing habits, others hated themselves, other were abused, or hurt in some way. It actually was the most beautiful moment. It was what kept me going back to the 12 Step addiction Recovery Meetings. 

Or that beautiful day when I told my sponsor something I had never told anyone and with tears in her eyes she looked up and said, "Me too." 

Whoever you are, know you are not alone. That is a lie from Satan!!  

That's what this blog is all about: riding shame, sharing hope and empathy. I am here to be vulnerable, to share my story and to reach out to others.

And let me tell you it is hard, but I will not let Satan destroy my life with lies anymore. Lies that as I share such a vulnerable part of my life, that other's will look down at me, avoid me, judge me, etc etc..... It goes on and on and on. But I won't let Him anymore. 

Moroni 8:16: I fear not what man can do: for perfect love caseth out all fear. 

God didn’t intend for me to struggle alone, or any of us. We are surrounded with people that can help us (both here on earth and in Heaven)!

I want to thank all of you who have supported me up until this point, welcome all of you who are new to my blog. Thank you for being here. I am excited to expand and hopefully get to know all of you better. 

"Your soul purpose is to get over 

the illusion of separateness". 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Much love,

Rachel