Rescued!

I have a limited amount of time right now, usually I re-read, re-write and have tons of anxiety about what I wrote and if it made sense. However, today I just want to write. 

I have an amazing Heavenly Father. He is truly merciful. He is truly loving. He is there always. I mean it with all my heart. Tears are literally streaming down my face as I type. 

You see the lord rescued me yesterday. I was struggling a lot, for the past few days I have. I was really unaware of how bad it was getting. Yesterday it kicked in a lot. I felt so overwhelmed. I was unsure what to do about the circumstance I was in. Satan definitely knew where I was. He “helped me” to justify things. He “helped me” isolate. He “help me” feel like if I talked to my husband he would be angry.

I began to be prideful. (before recovery I thought I had was not a prideful person.) HA! Was I wrong. It is something that satan definitely “helps me” to justify.  I was full of pride a few days ago. I was frustrated about this addiction. I was frustrated that the Lord wasn’t helping me with something that was very precious to me. Something that truly mattered to me. 

As I debated whether to discuss it with someone. I felt the spirit. I said a quick (lazy) pray as I was walking around my house. I sat down and talked. I told someone how I felt, what I was feeling. 

I felt the spirit so strong. It was something that I hadn’t had the past few days and I didn’t realize it till that very second. I remembered everything Satan was trying to make me forget. The Lord did care! I was doing my part, even though that is hard to admit. I didn’t go to group because I was feeling a bit sick, when really I could have gone. I should have! I am so excited for wednesday!!! I was warned when my thoughts wondered, yet I certainly justified. Anyway, you get what happen: A LOT of justification. 

No matter how lazy or casual my pray was the Lord heard it. 

It’s always a good reminder to: Let go of pride and let Love in. God is love. 

And I love Him. I am truly overjoyed today because of the lord. 

He rescued me and the beautiful thing is, He always will!

Thank you Lord!